When one of the amigos was a little boy, he dreamed one day of working at an aquarium--not as a feeder or a guide, but as a harbor seal. When this little amigo heard about a harbor seal named Hoover, who had lived in Boston until 1985 and, from his tank outside the New England Aquarium, had barked things like "Get outta heah!" to the passersby, well, when this little Amigo heard about that he thought he had found a fellow man-seal and he figured his future career at the aquarium was guaranteed. But it turns out Hoover was really a harbor seal, and the little amigo couldn't turn into one of those, so he gave up on life and went back to school. Over the years, he forgot all about the aquarium and all the things he had dreamed about doing there. The aquarium faded into the background--until today.
Yes, this was Monterey Bay Aquarium Day for the amigos, and what a magical day it was. After a brief run on Carmel Beach, where we were joined by the Fourth Amigo's long-lost middle-school friend named Allison, we met The Ocho's friend Grant and processed en masse to the seashore, continuing straight through the front doors of the aquarium, where we found ourselves in a magical world. "A world of long-lost man-seal dreams," as they say in the old country. Dear readers, the Monterey Aquarium is everything you ever dreamed of, and more.
For example, have you heard of "The Jelly Experience"? Did you know that it's a acid-trippy 70s adventure through the biology and diversity of the jellyfish kingdom? And did you know that "The Jelly Experience" unites jellyfish and Jimi Hendrix under the banner of psychedelic conservation? I think you did not know any of these things, and for this reason, you have been missing out.
When our minds weren't being blown by those mushrooms of the sea or the thousands of spiraling sardines, we stood in shock at the edge of the sea otter exhibit, basking in their face-ruffling, hand-holding, somersault-swimming cuteness. Those snea snotters, as The Ocho affectionately refers to them, stole the show, though they faced stiff competition from the weedy sea horses, puffins, and the penguins, especially, who stole the hearts of both The Captain and the Fourth Amigo.
But if, by chance, you find cuteness a bit overdone these days, don't worry--there are exhibits for mature audiences, too. We recommend one called "Getting Together." It explains seahorse mating rituals, illustrated most poetically by a short animated film about seahorse sex. That film runs on an infinite loop. One young man we saw there today, transfixed by what he saw, may well be there when you visit, too, whenever that time may come.
The only downside of the aquarium was that it was so gahddurn big. After only three hours of brain-melting experiences, we were all pretty tuckered out. We had to leave before seeing the entire aquarium. After a quick stop at the local farmer's market, Allison headed back to Stanford while the rest of the gang headed to Post No Bills, a craft beer joint near Monterey that the Kennifers are known to frequent on their lazy Sundays. It was a relaxing way to end the day: with a beer in one hand, pizza in the other, and a brain chock full of scarily-vivid sea creature facts, the four Amigos savored their Californian treats. In so many ways, it had been mind-expanding day.
Never give up on your dreams, kids. You may not turn into an English-speaking man-seal with a colorful regional accent, but do not despair. You can still come to Monterey, where the sun is always shining (except when it's foggy), the birds are always singing (except when they're not), and the aquarium is always open (except at night; but don't worry, a closed aquarium doesn't mean that the animals are dead). All you kids out there, all you small children who are reading this blog, you can be sure of this: from the Four Amigos, Monterey gets the old Four Thumbs Up.
Over and out.
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